Sent home yet again, twice this term
Humiliated, I slink out the back gate
Not even a pole sana from my teacher
None to turn to except an aged auntie in Mumias
Maybe she will take me in for one night
With ten mouths to feed I will be a burden.
Why me?
How can I return to school
without my school fees paid in full
Embarrassed, angry, I cannot see through tears
Blurred visions of blue, pink and green
I am not alone on this dusty Lurambi road
Colleagues from different schools tell the same story
Who will be next?
Why me?
Five hour walk over hot tarmac
Thrice pushed into the ditch by crazed matatus
Then by a moto lori carrying useless tires
To be sold for new shoes I cannot afford
Hungry I chew on sweet muwa
Yet the pain does not subside
And even if my aunt could spare a few shillings
These would not come close
To the 5000 shillings I need to return.
Why me?
An offer to pay for my fees is tempting
Yet it comes with a stipulation and a risk
That may take my life forever
Down a path of sickness to death.
Why me?
All I want is a chance to learn
Without fear of hearing them calling out my name
“We have carried you long enough
You cannot return until you have paid school fees.”
The words bite hard at my soul
I cannot bear it – my dream is slipping away.
Why me?
It happened last term in Form 1
That was the last time I spoke to my mother
Aids took her life as it had my father’s the year before
I would rather go hungry without food for fourteen days
Than be sent away from my only home.
Why me?
I cannot pay my school fees
Will I ever see the inside of a classroom again?
I may not finish another prep or write a final KCSE exam
My life may be an unending cycle of futility
Searching for firewood, finding water
Living from hand to mouth for the rest of my days.
Why me?
What have I done to deserve such a fate
When all around me others eat maize and beans
And go to school with shoes on their feet…
I must have done something wrong.
Why me?
Under the Acacia Tree Music
03/01/12
